The hashtag of being sexually harassed #metoo

One in three women has been sexually assaulted, mistreated, disrespected or made felt uncomfortable in the work space. This, just for being born a woman. ​

I was 30, already a feminist. I had read Beauvoir and reflected upon Lagarde’s insights, not to mention I had liked (and shared) all the cool feminists posts out there. How could this have happened to me? Unfortunately, I fell into the cracks of this mean statistics trend and I too was sexually harassed.#metoo
 
It was 4:40 pm on a Thursday evening and I was left frozen outside of the bathroom hall. A high ranked employee (married of course) took both my hands harshly and pressed my body against his. Knowing he was stronger than me, he pushed me upon himself, whispering in my ear, he liked me, and he repeated it again, he really, really liked me. He did this like this was some sword of compliment I should be pleased to hear. After, what I resume was the longest I have stayed paralyzed, I managed to gather some strength and asked him to let me go, and so after ruining the days to come, he did. 
 
I was left powerless, and so, like any unreported offense, this happened again and would keep happening if I did not put an end to it. I started sharing my story with people around me, and the comments were diverse at the very least. Some of my guy friends didn’t even reply and when they did, they said things like “well, I didn’t reply because I have heard this so much that I did not know what to say”, making me feel like I was making a bigger deal than it really was. Some of my girlfriends actually asked me if I was too touchy with him or if I should review my conduct because I am often too friendly (which is upfront victim blaming). Some understood why I didn’t want to say anything (it could affect my career). Others just insisted me to press charges against him, making me feel bad because I didn’t, like I was failing Simone de Beauvouir herself.  
 
I did not want any prescriptions of what was right in the eyes of feminism. I needed someone that listened carefully to how I felt. This episode had just opened an uncarved hole of emotional baggage. I felt like I was 8 again, and this was a passage of my life I did not want to revive, nor any other man should make me remember.
 
Of course, at the end, I had the support of my family, my girl and guy friends, My awesome female colleagues, my boss and a lot of people that believed what I had to say, and that became the most important and revolutionary tool I had. THE TRUTH. Unlike him, I didn’t have years of experience and important people to back me up with a recommendation, but I had the truth.
 
I filed a sexual harassment complaint. Unfortunately for me, the Honduran legal system doesn’t really care if it’s not actual rape or violence. I remember vividly raising my voice saying, “when he does rape me, I should come back?”.  I thought to myself that filing this legal suit, could actually make things worse. After what seemed like eternity and upon a mutual internal agreement, he was sent off. I had to face him for the last time and he accepted his conduct, (of course excusing himself saying it was “not sexual”) Patriarchy lost that day and it felt good.
 
But not as good as if it had not happened at all. I experienced the hardest days in that office. It became a horrible and toxic environment. I was a tiny emotional wreck walking through the halls, dealing with my shit, my past and you know actual work. If it weren’t for my girlfriends (holler to my sistahs that actually walked me to the bathroom when I was too scared to pee by myself). They were there though it all I would have not made it without them (PS: I love you deeply). Sorority is a beautiful thing. But I’m afraid it is not the only thing that has to be addressed.
 
For this not to happen again, man should be part of the discourse. Instead of a #metoo I want to see a #iwillneverharrasagirl or #itsnotcooltoharass. In the means of building sorority, we must not forget who is doing this. The role of men is fundamental to stop sexual harassment. So instead of having my guy friends not replying or thinking I was way to dramatic, how about if they are taught that this is a HORRIBLE THING, an unforgivable and uneducated thing to do. If not with them, how will this behavior ever change? I WANT MEN TO ACKNOWLEDGE HOW FUCKED UP IT IS TO THINK THIS HAPPENS TO A LOT OF GIRLS! Dude if you don’t know what to say or do, start by adding some of these topics to your conversations. 
 
Instead of teaching girls to be careful and go to the bathroom together, we should start teaching our boys to never EVER harass girls.