today
i gathered the broken pieces
of who i once was
and arranged them
as if they were art
because everything feels lighter
when i lean into the beauty
of my self-inflicted chaos
i loved him
without measure
i gave all of myself away
and even now
i am unsure
if i fell in love with him
or with the reflection
of who i wanted him to be
i fell in love
because i was longing
to fill the emptiness
i have carried
since the day i was born
and in that dream
i lost myself
until i could no longer tell
where he ended
and i began
i asked the pandemic
for a few traces of my sanity
but it forgot to leave them behind
we were too busy
hanging the remnants
of what was left in our bags
trying to adapt
to a madness
that still hasn’t ended
because chaos
did not leave with the headlines
it stayed
to live within us
confined
we found ways to escape
with berta
i learned the silence
of the forest
was kinder
than the noise in my head
we became friends
as we lost ourselves
beneath the shelter of the trees
while the world grew
too small
and too cruel
what was inside us
was unbearable
but out there
we found a moment
we found
a breath