The lived experiences of being a BRUJA
Raised by a strong, independent yet non-conventional single mother, I was often exposed to several healing practices growing up, meeting an extensive range of energy healers of all backgrounds, masked with traditional medicine or therapist titles. By the time I was 13, I had already encountered several chakras cleansing sessions (without understanding what that really meant at the time), thermotherapy, Ayurvedic lessons and analysis, constant dietary transformations and was introduced to auditors and spiritualists that upon touch or the use of Bach florals could unfold my inner and most intimate feelings and memories. In a more constant manner, we visited a Colombian doctor that made me write my signature every time I visited, and a respected pediatrician turned homeopathist to deal with flu season, coughs, menstrual irregularities, and allergies that to date, my mother is still convinced have to do with my inability to forgive.
Although I never refused any of the “treatments” I knew this was something I was unable to share with my classmates at school, so naturally it became something very private that I’d used to make fun of in occasions I saw fit. Often defining my upbringing as “quirky” and “unusual”, I never truly accepted that very significant part of myself nor had the ability to embrace what it really meant. As I grew up, a bit distanced and after some failed attempts on adulting, the universe led me back to my origins, encountering an energy healer under the title of transpersonal therapist. During my first session, I started crying for no reason. More than trying to analyze if it worked or not, if I believed or not, I realized there and then, that there was a space in my heart that was sad, and I had no idea why nor how to fix it. I told my mother immediately and to my surprise she was thrilled and decided to reveal MORE of her bruja self to me, narrating her past experiences about coffee readings, light, energy sources, us, our connection, and our true purpose in life (which to be honest I continue to be very confused about). This one event allowed us to truly connect post teen-war.
After some years with my therapist/bruja/energyhealer or the guiding key element for my road to self-awareness, I experienced ongoing chakra updates, tarot and pendel lessons as well as daily attempts of self-consciousness. I learned through family constellations about my karmic chains, as well as my ancestors history and struggles. I am now somehow aware of how women before me profoundly affected who I am today. In other words, one starts unfolding the diverse layers of how our parents f&*ed us up, and their parents before that. Sessions with her led me to reflect upon former experiences that intensify unhealthy patterns and dynamics. Most importantly, she trained me to listen to my intuition, awakening an enormous inner power.
Intuition, besides being the one and only key attribute to being a BRUJA, is also the ability to “smell” “detect” and ‘feel” experiences and energies around without the need for conscious reasoning. Being true to your life story, accepting the good and mostly importantly, the very dark is what composes your intuition also refereed to as “gut” feeling. Yet transforming, this has not been the most linear experience for me. As i’ve been loyal to my intuition at times, I have also ignored it many, many times. When feeling attachment to dynamics that are no longer fulfilling yet relatable, let it be with friends, family members or more often than not partners, the inability to let go has often betrayed my intuition. Additionally, as I find it hard to share this information with colleagues and friends or just the Judeo-Christian society around us, I find myself living in a spiritual closet most of the times.
How should a gender specialist that is meant to research about patriarchy and oppression going to walk up to people and tell them she is a witch? or that she believes in the devine power of the universe? How is a feminist going to start a conversation about this “intuition” in a romantic relationship without sounding completely and utterly crazy? Well, I don’t have the answers just yet, but I’d start by doing exactly that… I’ll try, upon first encounter to be honest, to share beliefs and theories that have helped me shape my interpretations of this world, even if they sound crazy or irrational. There are things we cannot prove, explain or even begin to understand with a scientific method. We live in such an antagonistic society (pro/anti vax, pro/anti abortion, or believer/atheist) that it is impossible to comprehend that further than white and black confronting postures, there is an array of colors that often foster science, evolution and the powerful pachamama and our connection to her to intertwine and co-exist in harmony.
For me, being a bruja is about fostering self-knowledge as well as the truth from everybody around in order to achieve such harmony. Brujas no longer wear hats and fly in broom sitcks (only in halloween of course!). We are no longer burnt in bonfires for trusting moon rituals or understanding herbs. A bruja is a woman that loves herself and is actively seeking healing. A bruja is a woman that respects herself and values herself before everything and everyone. A bruja trusts her intuition. She can create a new and healthy space for all coming generations, closing energetic doors that no longer serve a purpose, exited only to open new and nurturing ones.
The bruja identity has helped many women that needed the label to be different, to rebel and too question what was established. The label is useless to others. The label does not matter at all.
Self-awareness looks differently for everybody, yet if often includes listening to our bodies, our stories, our backgrounds, our painful truths and shadows. The road to healing is often time and experience consuming (it ain’t easy folks) It forces us to be confrontational and most controversially, not happy and filled with joy all the time, oh but it is hella worth it… We are all just transiting this life, with our heavy baggages trying to transcend constantly from fear to love. Just trying to understand the transitory state of all the feelings so for happiness and joy to be truly lived.